From our speaker tonight, Mike Smith

"Okay so I have a nail in my tire, which is common these days, as my coworker is on her sixth tire nail. All the debris and roofs and houses being torn down: lots of nails around.

Firestone downtown said to have my car there at 7am but they couldn't promise it would be done in tow or three days. Also, they recommended getting in line around 6am, that waiting until 7am wouldn't work. In fact, he said, most people are getting there around 5:30am and waiting until 7am.

So a friend recommended a Shell station uptown, so I drove there at lunch, but they were bulldozing some houses, so I got stuck in traffic for one hour.

When I got to the Shell station, they said they had 15 cars with nails in tires ahead of me, but that I could probably pick up my car on Friday if I wanted to leave it there.

So on the way back I stop at McDonalds and parked to go into the lobby because the drive thru line was backed into the street, about 20 cars deep.

The sign on the door said "Dirve Thru Only."

(The problem is there are no laborers, because there's no place to live.)

So I get back in my truck and to to the Burger King because the drive thru didn't look too bad. The lobby was packed. I get into the drive through lane, and there's a sign that says, "Drive Thru Closed - Lobby Only."

So I decide to skip lunch today and go back to work, and my cell pone rings. It is my neighbor telling me that the FEMA trailer next to us was broken into and cops were everywhere and they arrested two guys from Nicaragua who don't speak English. They were debris removers but they had been fired.

So I called Circuit City because a security company recommended a security system you could rig on the FEMA trailers for only $300. They said they had sold out of them becasue of all the FEMA trailer break-ins, but I could put my name on a list and they should have them in six weeks.

So I called my insurance company to make sure everything in the trailer would be insured and they said no, you had to get a new "Certificate of Elevation" for flood insurance on the FEMA trailer. I said I didn't care about flood, that I wanted theft coverage. They said they were onloy doing umbrella type policies on FEMA trailers because most of the inhabitants had received SBA lons and therefore required flood insurance.

So I called a company that does flood elevation certificates on FEMA trailers and they said I need to pay them $400 up front, and they would have the certificate ready to be picked up in about 8 to 10 weeks.

This is how you deal with a nail in your tire in the New New Orleans."

Mike Smith - 3/13/2006